Please forgive my language when I say that OH FUCK this film is hot.

New York City-based filmmaker, performance artist and author Morty Diamond directs TransEntities: The Nasty Love of Papì and Wil, available through Babeland.  In nearly an hour of footage filmed in their own home, we get to see the title characters engaged in both intimate discussion and flaming hot sex.

We’ll get to the flaming hot sex in just a moment, but first let’s focus on the discussions.  In a Tony Comstock-esque set-up, Diamond introduces us to Papì and Wil, a committed trans-couple whose relationship defies easy labeling.

Both are female-bodied (they feel no need at the moment for surgery or hormonal assistance) but have identified at various times as male, female, both, neither, and who-really-cares because they love each other so much. They practice elements of bondage, discipline and power exchange.  Their relationship also is open to another partner, a woman named Chris who does not hear.

Their discussions are interspersed between sex scenes and cover everything from their gender fluidity, sexual preferences, race, culture, religion, and the future.  I’d love to see more porn where trans-people — or heck, let’s dream big and say any performers — are shown as more than bodies going through the motions.  I love getting glimpses into why relationships works, what brought the partners together, and how their kinks mesh.

The film consists of three long scenes.  The first focuses only on Papì and Wil, who play hard with erotic hitting, dual strap-ons and a four-digit finger bang that just about soaked me as I wiggled with pleasure on the other side of the screen.

Next we get to watch as Papì and Wil work together to dominate Chris.  There’s a little tit-torture, a lot of oral and even more strap-on play.  Watching these players wield strap-ons with such skill brought me pleasure both physical and cerebral.

Finally we’re treated to a scene of play-rape between Papì and Wil, complete with costumes, bondage and toys.  This was the most intense scene in the film, and it definitely made my eyes widen with something like fear.  But the pre-planning and aftercare, something not usually seen in porn, were amazing to watch.

I loved the aspects of safer sex built into their play.  Fingering with gloves?  Hot.  Fingering with black gloves?  Super hot.  Using plenty of lube?  Oh baby, I love that.

They use one of my all-time favorite butt-toys, the gorgeous Njoy Pure Plug, and one of the most delicious vibrators in existence, the Wahl.  Those orgasms you’ll get to see in the scene with Chris?  Yep, that’s what the Wahl does.

TransEntities: The Nasty Love of Papì and Wil should be in your porn collection if you like watching hot, real sex between extraordinary partners.

So you’ve got a thing for bodies encased in slippery-tight material, do you?  Then I’m guessing that the stories in Rubber Sex will steam up your glasses and good.

Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, these nineteen stories feature everything from lust in latex to PVC perversion to vac-bed vixens.  Even if you’re not among the many who adore a little rubber in their sex, you’ll still find plenty of hot reads featuring players of all orientations and genders.

I really appreciate the high standards to which Rachel Kramer Bussel holds the authors included in her anthologies.  You’ll find precious little skim-worthy material here, although Jay Starre’s “Rubber-Party Virgin,” while focusing on supa-hot boy/boy rubber-short-clad sex, does leave something to be desired.  The main character’s attitude of wide-eyed naivety as he makes his way through his first sex party is perhaps meant to be charming, but instead it struck me as annoyingly unrealistic.

As has been the case in her other books, Bussel contributes one of the most compelling stories.  “Tight Squeeze” describes a dominant woman’s attiring of her much younger lover in a shiny, slick latex catsuit in front of an admiring throng.  It’s a simple idea, but this author is a master of drawing out the sensuality of the most simple situation.

Thomas Roche’s story of vac-bed fascination also merits a mention.  “Butterfly’s Kiss” is erotica noir, a dangerous sort of tale that combines lust with enough of a sense of imminent danger to keep the blood boiling on a couple different levels at once.

I’m a vanilla girl at heart, so I found it educational (and hot) to see the different ways this fetish material can be enjoyed.  Now I’m seeing rubbery erotic possibilities everywhere.

Rubber bands around the wrists, for example.  Was my old boss who came so attired to work each day giving herself pleasant reminders of a fetish as she absentmindedly twirled them?  If I run across a particularly perky cashier in the grocery store, could it be that he’s wearing a latex jock under his uniform?  Does my postal carrier deliver the mail with extra verve on the day after smoothing liquid latex over his wife’s naked vulva?

I can only hope so, and that after you read Rubber Sex you’ll be thinking the same things too.

******

For more information, check out the Rubber Sex website.

At some point in almost every adult’s life, she or he will wonder, “Is monogamy really the thing for me?”

Or does that only happen in my group of pervy friends?

To every person who has questioned monogamy, I’d love to give a copy of Tristan Taormino’s excellent new book Opening Up.  Taormino called upon her decade-long involvement with non-monogamous groups, as well as extensive surveying, to collect the information presented in her book.

In my short experience among the non-monogamous, it seems that many jump into one of the various forms of open relationships without considering the possible ramifications of their actions.  While non-monogamy can be a wonderful thing, ideally it’s entered into after careful consideration and with both partners’ full consent.

Of course the real world is far from ideal; some forgo monogamy after arguments or other relationship crises.  Opening Up wold be a equally informative for those contemplating non-monogamy or for those who have ended up there somewhat unwittingly.

Taormino presents clear descriptions of the various style of open relationships, from swinging to polyamory to polyfidelity to everything in between.  There’s great comfort in being able to put a name on things, and in knowing that you’re not the only one ever to attempt such a relationship.  Opening Up gives neophyte non-monogamists this assurance.

Someone who has never experienced an open relationship might picture nothing but good times and loads of sex, but the reality can be very difficult.   Non-monogamy brings an element of unpredictability into a relationship, which Taormino addresses with calm assurance.

The difficult questions of jealously, legal rights, raising children and relationship renegotiations are covered thoroughly.  She gives solid advice on how to handle the realities of open relationships — advice that should be read, if not jotted down on the forearm, of everyone considering opening a relationship.

But Taormino also addresses the benefits of non-monogamy, including the joy that can be realized in watching a partner love someone else.  It’s called “compersion,” and Taormino devotes a chapter to this pleasure.

Whether a partners’ love for another takes an ethereal or a corporeal form, compersion can be a wonderful skill to learn.  It serves to balance out (and can possily replace) the almost inevitable jealously that comes along with opening a relationship.

Taormino never suggests that non-monogamy is the best or the only choice.  In fact she discourages some from taking on these types of relationship, including those whose monogamous relationships are foundering.

A book as informative and reassuring as this one cannot be allowed to sit on my shelf.  I’m handing it around my circle of non-monogamous friends with strict instructions to read it, learn from it…and then pass it on.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
Available at Amazon.com
256 pages, 8.4 x 5.5 x 1.1 inches
$16.95

Talking about sexual abuse, whether it’s abuse that happened to you or to someone close to you, can be notoriously difficult.  The survivor often feels enormous shame (although that’s unnecessary, as no one is guilty of inviting an attack), while folks who know a survivor worry that they’ll say the wrong thing, stir up uncomfortable memories, or just plain sound like an idiot.

This is a tragedy.  I long for the day when sexual abuse and assault will be but unpleasant memories of a time when we were far less enlightened.  Barring that, my hope is that at some point in the not too distant future, survivors and their loved ones will be able to speak openly about their experiences without shame or fear.

This is the way to healing.

Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma, available through Cleis Press, is a recently updated guide to dealing with all kinds of sexual abuse.  Written with both survivors and their loved ones in mind, the book would be an excellent place to start for someone just beginning to work through the emotions that come along with abuse and assault.

The author, Staci Haines, specializes in healing sexual trauma.  She’s a founder of generation FIVE, an organization that hopes to eradicate child sexual abuse over the course of the next five generations through education and treatment.

Healing Sex discusses the ways in which healthy sexuality can both be undermined by and used to heal sexual trauma.  Haines follows the healing process as it relates to likely triggers, which are events that often force survivors to remember or relive their abuse.

Chapters focusing on dissociation, masturbation and self-healing, boundaries, and communication are standard fare in a book about healing from abuse, but this book’s focus on actively using triggers as stepping-off points to healing makes it unique.

I love Haines’ assumption that those of us who have been abused do want healthy, active sex lives.  She also provides ample information about anatomy and mechanics…topics that may have been avoided or distorted in families where abuse happened.  A thorough resource section as well as self-guided excercises are also included.

Healing Sex would be an excellent resource for healing, either for an abuse survivor or for that person’s loved ones.

I just love a good dirty book. Recently my go-to dirty book has been Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women, edited by my pal Rachel Kramer Bussel.

This book traveled with me to a toddler class the other day. While my little ones sang, danced, painted and crafted, I sat on a bench outside of class and read dirty stories. “What are you reading?” one of the other mommies eventually asked me.

I’m sure I blushed. “Oh, it’s something for work,” I stammered, then handed it over to her. Eyes wide, she took in the cover photo (whoops, hadn’t noticed that barely-visible nipple before!), and then thumbed through the pages.

“This is for your work?” she asked me.

“I have a really cool job,” I apologized.

She skimmed through a few paragraphs here and there before handing it back to me. “I wish I had your job,” she said. “I’d love to read this.” I smiled and promised to hand over the book to her when I was done.

Dirty Girls contains 27 stories varying in heat from jalepeño to Scotch Bonnet. You’ll find all kinds of couplings, from hetero to gay to bi; and all degrees of commitment, from married couples to pure strangers. The sex ranges from sweet to blasphemous; you do not want to miss what one character does with her rosary, the naughty minx.

I most appreciate erotica when the fantasy encounters maintain some degree of reality. Call me a prude if you will, but I like it when I can picture myself in the same positions and situations as our protagonists. Descriptions of unsafe or contortionist sex just don’t do it for me, and I found that the stories in Dirty Girls told of fantasy sex that was still within the realm of the possible.

One of the best examples of that was Rachel Kramer Bussel’s own contribution to the collection, “Icy Hot.” A quick trip to the store for a bag of ice turns into an erotic encounter with a stranger. It’s a simple set-up that left me wishing I’d read it at home in bed instead of in front of a group of mommies chatting about their carpools, cell phones and shopping trips.

Here, have a taste:

With his left hand, he began rubbing one piece of ice against my nipple, which reacted immediately. With the other, he roamed along my inner thighs. I wrapped my ankles around the legs of the chair, curling my toes for good measure, spreading myself as wide as possible for what I hoped would be the ultimate invasion. He teased me so well, I thought I might break the chair. He went everywhere with that ice but where I needed him the most.

Yeah. I need me summa that.

Thank you, Rachel Kramer Bussel, for putting together a collection classy enough to be read in public yet steamy enough that I longed for the privacy of my bedroom (and the ministrations of my Hitachi).

*Check out interviews with the authors and more story excerpts on the book’s official site.

My sister has dealt with developmental disabilities since birth. Even though I’ve been privy to her struggles and triumphs for nearly four decades now, I’d not given much thought to the sexual part of her life.

This is an uncomfortable topic for many people, I’d have to guess, and often the easiest thing to do with uncomfortable topics is to ignore them in the hope that they’ll never need to be addressed.

Often I wrestle with the idea that my sister is even an adult, much less a sexual adult. In my mind she’s still a child; her short stature and emotional immaturity play right into my erroneous perception. Add to this some very real fears about how she might handle both the physical and emotional difficulties that come along with intimacy, and it’s clear why it’s easier for me to think of someone like my sister as an asexual child.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, available through Cleis Press, addresses many of the concerns that affect both people with disabilities and the other folks in their lives. The trio of authors has experience in dealing with their own disabilities and chronic conditions, as well as those of their clients.

The book covers topics such as anatomy, self-image, communication with partners and caregivers, adapting sex toys and positions, safer sex, and alternative sexual play. The authors’ intended readers are people living with disabilities, but these subjects are equally informative for anyone who has contact with those facing physical or other challenges.

It would also be excellent reading for anyone interested in being as informed a sexual partner as possible to as many kinds of people as possible.

I found the discussions on body image to be particularly interesting. While I’m currently not disabled, I do not have the sort of body one usually sees in magazines or the movies. The authors point out how very much attention we give to how bodies look, often to the exclusion of how they feel.

This was quite an epiphany to me. I began considering that my partners might actually be attracted to (and not just tolerant of) my soft curves, perhaps even more than they might be to expanses of thin skin stretched tightly over bones.

I also began to have more of an appreciation for the difficulties people living in group situations often have with privacy. The authors point out the restrictions sometimes placed on residents’ ability to be alone with others; this was a complete revelation to me. It forced me to rethink the extra hurdles that are placed in front of those who already must work around physical limitations. It hardly seems fair, does it?

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability ends with an extensive list of resources for folks who want to learn more. From websites to books to organizations, if it deals with making sex easier and more fun, you’ll find it here.

I heartily recommend this book for people who have now (or who might have in the future) disabled people in their lives. You know what this means, right?

Just about everyone will have contact at some point with people with disabilities. So just about everyone could benefit from reading this book.

Back in the day (”the day” being the early 1990s), I read Cosmo magazine with the same attention usually lavished upon religious texts, crib notes and the instructions on home pregnancy test kits.

Each month I eagerly devoured what guidance it could provide, and while I certainly had no use for clothing that cost many multiples of my rent or guides on how to get by in the big city (my “city” consisted of a few thousand souls), I adored the sex advice. I devoured each screamingly sexual article, drinking in both the information and the mildly lewd pictures.

And if Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex by the Editors of Cosmopolitan had been around back then, there’s no doubt in my mind but that I would have ponied up the cover price and read the book front to back many times over. This 240-page hardcover guide reads exactly like a compilation of the “good parts” of several years’ worth of magazines.

Chapters cover the basics of seduction, including erotic massage, oral sex, positions, and after-play. Health and safety concerns are briefly mentioned; they also provide a few pointers on how to “get your man to wear a condom.”

I find it mildly tragic that books like these still have to exhort folks to practice safer sex. Won’t we ever get to the point where it’s a given that condoms will be available and used for each sex act? Eh, who am I kidding. Of course Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex needs these warnings.

I was pleased to find that the book includes a beginner’s guide to anal play, directed toward women as both the givers and receivers of butt love. They suggest little more than tentative exploration around the anus for men, and wisely suggest obtaining explicit permission before dipping in a fingertip. Women are encouraged to use plenty of lube and to go slowly — wise advice, though much more could be said on the topic. A list of suggested additional readings would have been appropriate at several different points in the book, but most especially here.

As in other Cosmo publications, this guide is illustrated with suggestive but hardly revealing photographs of playful couples in the early stages of sexual activity. While there’s excellent representation of various skin tones, you’ll find precious little additional diversity. Same sex couples? No way. Larger folks? Ha! People who look edgy in any way other than the single obligatory emo-rocker-boy? Not a chance.

I know it’s Cosmo, but come on. Couldn’t they broaden their definition of what’s attractive? By just a smidge? Sometime soon? Please?

The guide ends with several short tales meant to be read aloud between lovers. These could be performed over the phone, via text or IM, or even during sex, if you’re really adventurous. And well-coordinated.

While Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex aims more toward those at the start of their sexual lives, it’s a fun read for anyone interested in adding a little fun to the bedroom.

Morgan Hastings, who previously gave the world a lovely coloring book of vaginas, has now returned with a companion book of cock. A coloring book full of cock…what’s not to like?

A classically trained French horn player and illustrator, Hastings has gathered together a collection of just about every possible type of penis you could imagine. Rendered in bold lines are short fat cocks, lean mean cocks, decorated cocks, pierced cocks, smooth cocks and furry cocks. Rumor has it that one of the cocks even belongs to Hastings himself. Hm.

Interspersed between all the cock pictures are puzzles, fill-in-the-blanks and places for folks to draw in their own favorite penises.

I love the variety Hastings has shown in this book. He’s managed to show the beauty of every possibly kind of cock; I’d imagine it would be quite a thrill for a dude to find his own type of penis in the book and realize how attractive it seems as pictured by Hastings.

As I write this, I am hatching plans to go out with a group of open-minded friends to a little party tonight. I plan on bringing The Big Coloring Book of Cocks along with me. I have a feeling that there will be many happy exclamations (and maybe a few comparisons) among the various attendees.

Someone remind me to grab all my flesh-toned crayons on the way out the door, ok?

Make space between your Betty Crocker and that old Jello cookbook for something a little more stimulating. The New Intercourses is a collection of recipes designed to put you in the mood for love.

Authors Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge first conceived of and published this aphrodisiac cookbook more than a decade ago. Since then they’ve rewritten recipes, shot more photographs, caught up on contributors, and added a wealth of new information to this fun and beautiful book.

With sections on all the usual suspects (among them chocolate, oysters, strawberries and asparagus), you’ll find something pleasing to your taste buds in the 130+ included recipes. Want to prepare an entire libidinous feast? There’s plenty here for weeks of entire meals; there’s even a section of suggestions based on the time of the planned seduction.

Want to plan an entree around your lover’s zodiacal sign? You can do that. Apparently I am “unpretentious” and like “unusual flavor fusions.” Hm. Not sure I’d agree with that summation, but who am I to argue with the stars above?

If you’d prefer to cook up some bath or massage concoctions, The New Intercourses can point you in the right direction. Recipes for body oils, bath salts and scrubs are provided, along with suggestions of where you can purchase appropriate ingredients both online and off.

Interspersed with recipes are sexy literary quotes and lovely images featuring foods. I’m particularly fond of the picture of a woman wearing salmon fillets as panties, but the one of a very pregnant belly thrusting up from a sea of black beans (they promote fertility, didn’t you know?) also trips a certain pervy trigger for me. An image of a man’s naked torso, his hand curled into a clear jar of honey, brings to mind all sorts of naughty thoughts; one of a woman naked but for a hula-skirt made from asparagus would probably do the same thing for other folks.

The New Intercourses should find a place in the cookbook collection of all licentious cooks. And if anyone reading this would like to hand-feed me a couple chocolate-almond truffles, I’m ready anytime.

I have to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of reality programs. There’s something that feels so very wrong about throwing people together (whether in house, tour bus or island), and then looking on with voyeuristic glee as they hash out their inevitable differences.

But when the people are porn actors and they are left alone in a beautiful house for 36 hours with no script, schedule or rules—well, that changes things! I’ll watch and then watch some more!

In her third film in the Chemistry series, Tristan Taormino gives a half-dozen gorgeous porn performers the time, location and cameras, then she lets them provide the action. This time around Taormino enlisted the participation of performers Roxy DeVille, Jada Fire, Hillary Scott, Christian, Derrick Pierce and Steven St. Croix. These actors are beautiful of course, but they also come across also as interesting and likable people.

I found myself listening with complete interest during the interview portions of the film. It was educational as well as humorous to hear each actor’s preferences, experiences and pet peeves. I found it charming to watch Roxy DeVille explore sex toys and demonstrate the finer points of vagina hygiene, let me tell you.

Interviews are all very good, you are probably thinking, but what about the sex? How was the sex?

The sex was, in a word, hot.

In standard porn, I’m certain that each of these performers is awesome. But in this situation, where they got to choose what to do and how to do it, their passion was outstanding.

You know what was my favorite part of the sex scenes? It was the laughter. The sex was flaming hot, but I loved how clear it was that these actors were having fun. They teased, they played, they giggled, they joked. It reminded me of the way my friend and I play in bed…er…if only my friend and I had killer bodies and had sex in a really cool house with modern furniture and a huge hot tub.

The only thing for me that was missing in this film was a male performer receiving ye olde anal luv from a female accomplice. Were there scenes of this nature in the first two Chemistry movies? Did I just happen upon the one Chemistry film lacking male anal? Color me just the tiniest bit disappointed at this. But not disappointed enough that I’ll never watch the film again.

Bonus features in this two-disc set include extensive image galleries, behind-the-scenes footage, an extra scene and a run-down of sex positions.

Tristan, I loved this film. I vote nobody off the island. Everyone moves on to the next round. No one has to go home. And I’m very much looking forward to Chemistry Volume 4.