Fri Dec 23, 2005
It’s close to midnight, the girls are all asleep. I just kissed Elliott goodnight, and now I’m sitting here typing, watching snippets of television. I can’t believe it’s only 2 days until Christmas.
I know not all of my readers celebrate this holiday, but indulge me as I grew up with it. My life, up until 15 and I lost my father, was what I would call idyllic - wanting for nothing, 2 happy parents who loved each other, lots of time spent with family. When I grew up, I had certain expectations and part of that was that I would have the same thing. I would grow up, meet the right person, have a family and live happily ever after.
Of course it didn’t quite turn out that way. I married and had 3 children with someone who couldn’t handle the responsibilites that entailed. I divorced. I spent another several years with someone. That ended. I thought I was done with relationships, done with the sham of love.
Then I met Elliott when I least expected it. This is the first time since I was in my teens that I’ve felt as if my family was solid. My last relationship never had any family cohesiveness. We had some halfhearted attempts, but it just wasn’t right. Ever. I guess I always thought that was what “blended” family was, that it could never quite feel right or whole, but I was wrong.
I can’t tell you how wonderful this month has been, and how much I am looking forward to what feels like the first Christmas of my adult life. My girls are happy and healthy, my home is cozy and inviting to friends and family, my husband is a warm and wonderful man. I feel absolutely blessed, and my wish at this moment is for every person to have this peace and happiness that I’m feeling right now.
Blessed be… - Jane