porn starterAccording to the description on Babeland’s site, you are meant to read the book (Violet Blue’s The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn ) before you watch the two included movies.

Oh! Book before movies!

My bad. I watched the movies first.

The first movie I got my hot little hands on, Jack the Zipper’s Stuntgirl , is a frenetic, dirty dirty dirty low-budget fuck-fest that gave me an instant girlie-boner. There’s no lame acting. No satiny-smooth bodies. No “making love.” It’s all sex: sweaty, dirty-talking, athletic and oh-so-nasty. There are hetero scenes, some girl-girl action, and a little bit of anal for the ass-lovers amongst us. All the scenes seem to be filmed through a colored lens, which adds an eerie sense of unreality to the film. Clothes ripped off, grunting, fingers in mouths, hands wrapped around necks, fingers clawing into backs–this little film looks like real lustful rough sex. I loved it.

I know that a few people will not like Stuntgirl . It’s just too rough and tumble a movie for some folks; the heavy soundtrack, edgy editing and dark sex will be off-putting for them. So it’s a nice contrast that the Babeland Porn Starter Kit contains a movie that’s pretty much the opposite of Stuntgirl.

Velvet Thrust, directed by Giovanni, is a couples-only movie. You won’t see any girl-girl scenes, much less any boy-boy scenes (which is a pity). There’s very little talking but plenty of shots slowly trailing over smooth, gorgeous bodies. This film is meant to appeal to women who want to see hunky men. The male stars are quite gorgeous, and you’ll get to see plenty of their hunky physiques and impressive penises. As far as the sex goes…eh. It’s slow and centered on pleasing the women. There’s a sterile background music track (I’d prefer to hear the actors talking to one another) and completely predictable locations (shower, car, bed).

The best part of this film for me was a scene where the male lead used a masturbation sleeve for self-pleasure as his partner looked on. His well-lubed cock slid through a tight silicone tube while fires burned in the background. Hot.

Violet Blue’s excellent exploration of all things porn rounds out this package. The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn is required reading for anyone who’d like to know more about the porn industry, whether they are absolute porn virgins or well-seasoned veterans of watching these films. She discusses the various types of porn available (including a nice section on the difference between girl-girl porn and lesbian porn), misconceptions about porn, adult film terminology and protocol, and even a list of fun games to play while you watch your favorite film. I’ve been watching porn for more years than I’d like to admit, and even I learned several new things from this informative book.

The Babeland Porn Starter Kit would make a nice present from one partner to another. Put the book on your lover’s pillow (restrain yourself from watching the movies first, as I did), wait for him (or her) to say, “Wow, we really should watch some porn together,” then whip out one of the two movies. I can almost guarantee that you’ll have an explosive evening.


Available at Babeland
$59 (contains two DVDs and book)