September 15th

Mortality can suck.

After the better part of your life thinking you are Superman, it's a real chilling disheartening punctuation point when lifeitsowndamnself rubs the point in that no matter how woowoowonderful my spiritual existence is, my body is just clay, and broken clay at that.

I was an early shift DM at the Wet Spot last night, scheduled 830pm-1130pm. I got there no problem, having paused Dinotopia to finish later, and happily wearing my newest Utilikilt [the chocolate colored Carhartt canvas], which is already starting to fade nicely.

I was kind of excited, as I was one of the fellows invited a bit later to help a hungry lady with her bukkake desires. Everything went ok until about 1015pm, when I went to help move a padded spanking bench. I had my radio in my left hand, so reached behind me with my right hand and picked up one end of the bench, and immediately dropped it. All of my right arm and half my chest wall shocked me with an overwhelming pain. Those two major nerves in my left arm that have no stretch to them were in agony and I had to be helped off the floor to a chair. Whenever they've hurt before it's been a shocking pain, a stabbing pain, but something that I've been able to get through. This hit my system with such a shock that I had to ask for a bucket in case I heaved. Georgette and Jim had come out to me afraid I was having a heart attack it had happened so dramatically. A friend took my DM badge, first aid kit, radio, & finished my shift, and folks brought me ice packs. One woman I'd been sorta fooling around with before we opened stood behind me and let me pillow my aching head and body back on her very abundant and nice breasts. Gads, I've had pain before - shit, I spent a couple years as a slut masochist a decade ago - but this just knocked me down and out. The Event Coordinator, coincidentally a nurse I've worked with off and on for years, came up to me after about 10 minutes and just put down the punctuation point of, "You are done." Friends and strangers both said sympathetic things and I appreciate them all.

A friend I've known since the old days of Pandora, but have only seen here and there for a few years approached me and asked if it would help for him to give me massage on the bad arm and shoulder. I gratefully accepted and we went into the sex room in the back and used one of the beds as a massage table. It helped quite a bit, and after 20 minutes or so I was feeling a good bit better. When I got up from where I was laying I noticed that the bukkake scene had started on the next bed, and I figured, "What the fuck." I grabbed my Eros and - using my left hand thank you very much - worked on rising to the occasion. It was fun for a while, interacting with the attractive lady at the same time as a dozen or so other folks, but before too long both of my arms started aching, so I excused myself. Pretty well guarding my arms as if my right was in a virtual sling, I observed and coached Dawg a little bit as he used a new electrical toy on his boy, and before too long headed on home.

One disappointment I'd had when I first arrived was seeing the note that the anal play workshop, "In Through The Back Door", scheduled for today, Sunday, had been postponed. Drats - I'd been on a lighter weight diet for the past few days getting ready to be a stunt bottom for anal fisting in that workshop. [Dinner last hight had been boiled cabbage alongside caramelized onions/mushrooms with soup. I'm sure there are lighter dinners, but at least I didn't pull out a steak.] It freed up my Sunday and I've pretty well just wasted it, surfing, jerking, and eating. I'm writing this around 4pm, and in an hour or so I'll head up to Bellingham to bring Dad down for the night, and then tomorrow I take him to SeaTac at oh-dark-thirty for a flight to his winter place in Scottsdale. Damn, but I'm going to miss him while he's down there, but that is what I got the cell phone for anyhoo. He is flying in between his dialysis treatments, and had already set up his Arizona care before coming up here for the summer, so it should be smooth.

This week coming is going to be a bit jumbled as I've got company coming in for most of it, including a couple of days when we'll be out of town. I'll try to post as I can.

Thanks again to everyone who was helpful or supportive when I got hurt last night. I haven't had to type one-handed today so life goes on. I really don't like the idea of bracketing this entry with my own touching mortality on one end and my thoughts of my Dad on the other end. Life does go on, and so much more is good rather than pain, I'm not planning on changing my mantra anytime soon.

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