September 23rd

Sorry folks. The past week or so I just haven't felt like I could honestly type the words "Life Is Good". I did four 12 hour shifts at work at my Other Job and it was the most painful, dysfunctional and malignant environment I've been in in a long time. It's been depressing, anerotic, discouraging, humiliating, and it's gotta change. I'm working on that.

Friday night was the monthly boy's party at the Wet Spot but Kevin had spent the day at a family funeral, and I was physically exhausted and emotionally depleted. We chatted on the phone for a while about 6pm and both decided we were too tired to play. He went back to bed for another nap and I snoozed my way through a few hours of keyboarding.

Today I was up early, noonish, and headed down to West Seattle to Panther's house for a Mabon celebration. It was a day to honor the autumnal solstice, to acknowledge the bounty of the harvest and to prepare for the winter's rest. It was a celebration of the riches we have harvested both in food and in family, and a pleasant time, myself, Panther & Viktor, Derek, and Annika.

Popped home and caught a 30 minute catnap - and heard the news, and briefly mourned the Mariners being bumped from first place by those maggots from Oakland - then headed on down to the Wet Spot. Panther and I had planned a couple of bookend scenes, our own version of Power Exchange. I pierce her, we catch our breath, and she fists me.

First of all I took her into the medical room, up on the OB/GYN table. We had both chatted earlier about how we'd found ourselves doing this "how can I beat last time" mental nonsense. One day you suture a cunt closed, the next you have to hang her boobs from skyhooks and Goddess only knows where you'll bet a sterile lawn mower for the next... instead we decided to simply have fun. I lined the perimeter of her rather large breasts with needles, axillary to axillary, with the occasional miscellaneous row up her sternum or into the nipple and stuff. Every once in a while I paused while putting the needles in to watch/help her to orgasm loudly. She is so much fun to watch thrash about and ejaculate and scream and all.

Individual squick levels are so much fun to notice. It was a relatively quiet night at the Wet Spot, and half a dozen friends were in the room watching our little needle scene. The room nearly emptied out during the next part. Once I had a bunch of needles in her I asked her to turn around, straddle the table, and lean on her elbows so she didn't knock the needles out of her boobs. I coached her that in the next part immobility was as important as it was when she had her tattoos done, so move nothing, and channel all the pain and sensation and agitation and energy and stuff on down her left arm, and out her fingers, wiggling those fingers being the only part of her body to move. The coaching done, I cleansed her left shoulder blade and got out a sterile disposable scalpel.

I know I'm no artist, so I decided on a relatively simple design: the combined male/female bisexual symbol, a circle with a Mars arrow up and a female cross down. I slowly cut it in the skin, about 3" high, fairly superficially. When you do a cutting you always accept the possibility of a permanent mark - and Panther does scar easily - but I did it light enough that although she felt it exquisitely and got quite high, my intent was to create a temporary scarring. We didn't rub ash or ink or wine or anything into it to color it, as can be done for permanent scarifications. Once done, she turned back around and we deneedled her and did a slight bit of finger painting and a lot of vigorously wanking her over the top. Thrash, scream, kick the top, ejaculate, thrash, scream, and on.

After showering, hydrating, and generally getting our heads back close to this level of existence, she took me over to the sling and we got out the Crisco. She explored my rosebud and pounded on my prostate until I was convulsing and making those faces that would be sooooo embarrassing at any other moment, and making feral noises loud enough to scare the natives. She later told me that she got almost to the wrist, but had to stop when I started clamping up. Next time - to the elbow! [Panther: just kidding. Relax. Please.]

It was really nice to share transcendental experiences with a lover so caring as Panther, within the warm fellowship of Kevin, KSlave, Sparkle, Coyote, Eve, and so many other friends tonight, in such a safe space as the Wet Spot. After such a malignant and oppressive week, it was recharging and comforting. Goddess willing, it will help me to find the calm and strength I need to get through another week where I no longer want to work, and to find the viable alternative that must exist.

For now, life is. I'll settle for that, but not for long.

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