Oct 18th


Life continues, much the same and much never to be the same.

People expect Sean Connery to still be handsome, Mt Rainier to be an exquisite vision, and too much espresso to make one jittery... but who ever expected to find bio-warfare here in our homes to become commonplace?

At any rate, I've been doing my all too usual - living life and not posting. In addition to living under the threat of anthrax I've had a couple of personal things going on that have added to my reticence. Not necessarily bad things, just things.


First, my relationship with Chloe has been evolving. Poly is never easy, even when it's good - perhaps especially when it is good. After some months of most excellent NRE, we are continuing to be friends, lovers, and happy co-conspirators in this journey of life. At the same time, however I've had to recognise that she needs to spend more time with another of her partners than I. For quite some time this spring and summer I've been privileged to be gifted with much, often a majority, of her social time. Now it's time for someone else to be that lucky. I'm still exquisitely happy with each moment I do have with her, but there are fewer of them. The change hasn't been easy, and I have been sorting out all kinds of embarrassing emotional responses. You see, the conceit is that [sarcasm] we higher evolved poly folks are above the jealousy word, and never hurt ourselves or others, and always know and do the right thing and everything works out just like it says in the fairy tales [/sarcasm]. Right? Well, just so it says so on the label doesn't mean that it's so, doesn't mean that these things come easy, and certainly doesn't mean that people don't hurt. Thank the Goddess, however, Chloe and I have always talked, even when it hurts, and we continue to.

What's personal to us and our partners is personal to us, even in this day and cyber age of people living their lives publicly and in print. This is not Jerry Springer. Suffice it to say that there are no villains in this, no victims in this, and all of us continue to be friends and lovers. What is shifting is timing and sequencing. Time management.


The other thing which has been consuming, and which has very significantly impacted my time and inclination for typing, has been the change of jobs. From working three 12 hour shifts a week, with four days off every week, I've gone to working five 8 hour days a week. As well, my alarm clock now is set for 3:50am... an hour which I've found traditionally to be close to a good bedtime. Plus, I'm frequently home with my workday done by noon or thereabouts. A whole lotta changes in time and schedules and all of the life thingies that go with that. Much of my new job is spent on my feet standing on a hard floor and I've had to visit the Birkenstock shop. I'm having to cut off my caffeine consumption at noon now, and am taking a nap virtually every afternoon after work and before dinner.

The way it looks so far, this will be a good thing for a while. I'm making a small bit more money, I have new challenges to overcome, and it certainly looks like the malignant work environment I was working in is a thing of the past.

There have been some good parties lately, some fun play and I'll try to write more soon. I didn't want folks to forget the affirmation - life continues to be good.

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