October 10th

Sitting here spinning my wheels, the clam dip chilling and the potato chips opened, an hour before the first pitch in the Divisional Playoffs, Yankees vs the Mariners.

I've been home the past few days from my Other Job, and have written in painful details about the endorphin raising activities I've been involved in. Friends have written several times asking me for more details about how the change in the Other Job has been going.

After many years leading a nocturnal existence, reveling in my cowboy alternative existence, as of last week I'm now working 12 hour day shifts, right in the midst of all the suits. The change was driven by the fact that we have more and more out of control mental health patients, and in the quiet of the night - only 2 or 3 staff members around - I was having to be the Authority Figure more often. I really like being a healer, and it is nothing to do with the more heavy-handed sado-masochistic activities of my social life. However, mix one big bearded & tattooed immovable Authority Figure with in-crisis acting out mentally ill substance abusers, and you have unpleasant occurrences. Now, working days, I blend into the crowd. If someone is 'going off', there are a dozen other people to step up to dealing with it and I don't stand out.

I've been actually enjoying spending more time with several different management folks. Previously, I rarely spoke with my own boss unless I had to wake her up in the middle of the night to report an emergency.

Through the week, I've heard comments from staff members at different levels complimenting me on the job done and saying they're glad to be working with me. I have no doubt that before I was 'that cowboy who works late nights', and wasn't really seen as a co-professional. I'm working harder, moment to moment, days than nights, but it's ok.

I'm finding that I can get things done now, having days off. Working nights I held myself to a nocturnal schedule seven days a week. Now I can do things I need to do. My wallet was stolen at work last April; just today did I get down to the City Hall to get a replacement concealed pistol permit. Last week, glasses from Costco. Shopping. Getting mail. Paying bills. Everything is easier when you're awake the same time as the rest of the world.

Now, I know that it's still going to be a long time before this feels 'normal'. And I know that I don't want to stay working in this environment forever - I really would like to move more and more in the direction of the sorts of sex-positive work being done at Janes Guide and the Wet Spot and such. In time.

For now, however, life is ok.

Go Mariners.

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