May 30th

There is a shock going through a certain collection of my friends, a sort of loss, a displacement. I've mentioned enjoying the BBS Three Way Action. I've understated it. It isn't just a vague thing akin to a passing fancy in a smut site or even a morning habit of the local newspaper online. Jane first told me about it, and I followed her there several years ago, and although she doesn't visit anymore I have made myself at home in the community there. I've made many good friends. I've made a couple of if not enemies, at least people with a virulent visceral reaction to any political opinions I venture. [Hard to believe, sweetness and light me, I know.] I've had visitors from across the country and exchanged gifts and watched people get married and children born. I check in the BBS a couple of times a day and as well have become one of the 'chat whores' who log in at all hours to chat, pout, rant, cry, lurk, or whatever.

An announcement was just posted that the board will close 6/10/03. The '3' of the 3WA title is not an allusion to puppypile sex, but rather to the three folks who started the boards. Two remain, Sara and Stee, and they've made valiant efforts to maintain 3WA as an ongoing free-of-charge concern for around 5000 users. They've sold many trinkets on Cafe Press, had various fund raising gimmicks and things have just run out of gas. Not out of will, but out of means.

There is an effort from the grass roots to resurrect 3WA as a subscription service, and I'll be there if it is to be. These are the people who held my hand in chat while ill. People who have bucked me up during relationship crashes, and I've done the same. People who have emailed me privately with trusting questions about their sexuality issues. People who shriek and send love when friends from Norway or London or Brazil or Seattle have a baby, hangover, or question about a recipe. These are the people who lovingly held the hands of a woman and generations of her family as they went through the diagnosis, treatment, and eventual loss of her with cancer. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on the net.

I went into a flurry of Cafe Press purchases today when my paycheck was deposited. Much of the 3WA schtupf is inside joke sort of humor [a WW3WAD tshirt, for example] but one project in particular I wanted to mention to the Blue Blazer Regulars. It's my current favorite tshirt - "Dissent IS The American Way, Motherfucker!". If any of y'all are 1st Amendment inclined at all, give Sara a hand and pick up some of the usual Cafe Press line with the Dissent logo. It's a Good Thing.

There is a lot of exchanging of AIM or ICQ id's, journal links, notify lists, wish lists, and so forth. Feels like graduation day when the school is being demolished. Feels like the family is suffering in a diaspora. I may be mature enough to handle unpleasant change, but I don't have to like it.

The soundtrack going through my head as I compose this wistful and melancholy entry? It is the wonderful medley of Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by the late Iz [Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole].

Sara, Stee - heartfelt thanks for everything you've done.


Well, last Monday I set out a couple of tasks with specific intent. First, I drove myself to a matinee of X2. This was to see if I could safely drive after a week of drugged haze, if I could safely spend a couple hours in public without coughing to death, and just to see if I had the stamina. That went well, although having your pockets stuffed with a large orange, banana, and a baggie of snap peas is a pale substitute for nicely salted popcorn. The test went well, and the second task was coming home to do some website reviews for Janes Guide. I've been slow on them this month, of course. I wanted to see if I could focus on the written word, make decent evaluations of data, and compose myself properly on the computer. That seemed to go well also, so Tuesday I returned to work, cautiously. I worked through Thursday, and today we had a light day with no patients. I'm weak, but so far so good. Regaining my full strength will take a while, but I'm definitely on the mend.


Lemme tell you about my friend Hanne. She lives near Baltimore, is going through a time of transition and change herself, and she reaches out 3000 miles to me when I'm ill. She is such a thoughtful dear. I got a call out of the blue from a stranger the other day. Turns out it's a friend of Hanne's who just moved to town. Hanne had called her with a shopping order. Last night I have a knock on the door and a cute young lady hands me the most beautiful bouquet I've ever seen. As well, there is a bag full of special items from Market Spice and Tenzing Momo - Slippery Elm throat lozenges, a type of tea designed to soothe singers' throats, several tasty no-salt spice mixtures, and a love gift for Littleone - several ounces of fresh catnip. This is one of the most thoughtful long distance gifts ever. Thank you, dear.


And yes, life is getting better, day by day.

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