June 18th 2000

Seems like another Weekend Update. I've been lackadaisical with my diary faithfulness. I'll work on doing a bit better.

Saturday nite we did the double-team scene that we'd planned. Panther, Viktor, Annika, and myself. We'd begun planning impromptu a week ago at KSlave's party, mostly in the line of "Hey, wouldn't this be neat!" stuff that really kept Panther going. Viktor and I were talking about doing simultaneous zippers, one of clothes pins and one of needles. She shuddered so much in anticipation that we just kinda had to make it happen for real.

I went out shopping the day before, picked up some fishing monofilament, and - just for mindfucke - safety goggles and disposable overalls. Viktor had his clothes pin zippers ready made and so most of the labor was in my slowly placing the needles and lacing them with the fishing line. At the top I tied a leash and then tied off to chopsticks, for a handle.

Through the entire thing we kept up a patter, fun for he and I, but it all added up to significant extra mindfucke for her. She was terrified and higher than a kite long before we came close to removing the zippers.

Finally he ripped the clothes pins off, and - our plan - with only a second or so refractory period I ripped the needles. Unfortunately, the 25lb test line snapped with only a couple needles coming out, and I had to fall back to Plan B. I put the two chopsticks each under one side of a row of needles and used them to rip. The needles, alas - 23 guage - were too thin. They bent in two like bobby pins. Worse yet, although some did pull out some snapped in half.

We de-needled her quickly he and I, every step of which added to the intense sensation, and she was going feral. I reached down where she was busy ejaculating and I started adding to her motion, fistpounding her to more and more orgasms, and damn near pounded the gyn table into the next room. She was biting and we were wrestling her and hair got pulled and I think Annika got kicked and damn it was fun fun fun, terrible terrible fun.

Now, I learned some lessons - the 25lb test line and the 23 guage needles were both too flimsy to work - but dammit I'm tired of learning these lessons at someone else's expense. If it had ripped out properly she would have had a lot of skin healing to do, but she would have had one brief intense sensation. That sensation was actually the one thing we were aiming for - rocketing her up to a new level from the clothes pins high without the benefit of a come-down in between. The blood, the entire technical experience, all the rest, was just window dressing. As it stands she had many lingering intense sensations added to the fact that she knew damn well that it didn't go as planned. Kind of like planning on jumping off the last step and then finding out that you're stumbling down another couple flights of stairs step by step or two and you don't even know if it's the right stairs.

Later, after a bit of this and that not associated with this scene, I left for home prior to the party having ended. I had to get ready for the afternoon solstice celebration I had scheduled for Sunday afternoon. Went shopping, cooked up a corned beef for Sunday's potluck and BBQ'd a couple dozen chicken thighs to set aside for next week's work lunches. I got some ICQ from Panther late and it turns out that after I left she'd had some sort of emotional aftershocks, and hit a rocky road with Viktor.

This is the other lesson I learned, also at someone else's expense. She says "I don't need aftercare". I know, for myself, my responsibilities are self-assigned, self-defined, and self-delimited. I won't again take off so soon - several hours - after such an intense experience. I have to assume that when she says "I'm ok" that there is still the possibility of her being in diminished capacity, and I have to be the one to judge that.


The solstice sunday afternoon was wonderful, reaffirming, and orgasmic. Details, by the agreed upon mores of the group, are left there, but I'm so glad I went.


Life is good. Varied, a continual education, humbling, ecstatic... and good.

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