December 4th



Every day when people ask me how things are going, I always tell them strongly that "Life is good". It's really true. My Other Job is going well, better than ever. The broken me that was here a year ago, life in shambles, is no longer - I'm back in charge of me. My sex life is outstanding - I've spent a lot of time recently with several new or old partners and it's been better than ever. For the first time in my life I'm out of debt and putting nickels and dimes aside. The goldfish are all still thriving and Littleone has ignored them.

The thing is, I've just had this block. I've written way too few site reviews for Janes Guide, and this is the one month point from my last journal entry. I love to write - the past few weeks it's been just like the block I have for exercise. I know I need to exercise, but I've got a rigid block inside that goes exercise = pain. It's one of those gotta start/can't start dichotomies. Goddess only knows why it hit my writing out of the blue, but it did.

I called Raven a week or so ago and told him it's time to get together again. I had a couple of issues but the rest resolved themselves. The blockage issue - presented in terms of my need/terror of exercise - is what remained. I mentioned these other things as well, but focussed on the exercise. We spent about 90 minutes together on this last night - granted, much of it in schmooze catch-up - and I'm working on baby steps. Today the room got reorganized so the stationary bike is now available to be functional instead of being a hat and coat rack. That was the first baby step. We're talking itsy-bitsy baby steps, but steps regardless.

And so here I am putting together a first baby step back in the direction of journal updates. I thoroughly appreciate all the loving inquiries from friends and strangers and the support expressed. It's been nothing more than what I've just said here. Mental constipation.

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For those who have asked, I've healed quite well from the assault injuries. I have several long scars on my left inner forearm that look like I stuck my arm in the cage of a tiger with razor claws. I still feel the only partially healed areas of my rib cage whenever I cough, and the cough that settled into my lungs 4 weeks or so ago is still there. I still have one knee with a bubble the size of half a tennis ball I'm debating if I should drain it myself or if I should ask my doc to. And the punk asshole still hasn't been caught. I still watch in the neighborhood for kids of that age wearing red jackets....

I'm pretty doggone excited - this weekend I'll be doing a Body Electric workshop Friday evening until Sunday evening. Before I've done the same gender basic class, and later did a same gender Power & Surrender workshop, which mixes the tantra and the S/M. Those two workshops have had more of a positive effect on both my play and my sex than anything else ever has. The workshop this weekend is a Power & Surrender workshop, but for mixed genders. I get to worship at both altars! What more could a bi kinky slut ask for?

Like I said - life is very very good. I just haven't written that down often lately.



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